I'm afraid of relationships..

Hey guys, 

So it's been a few weeks now and I thought I'd check back in in you all and share a post which relates to something I've found out about myself recently.. 

So people may or may not relate to this however I feel it's something I want to share with you all to ask for advice and hopefully give you advise too.. 

Thought out school, I had a few "relationships" which now looking back weren't really relationships. In my short life I've only ever experienced "real love" once. My off on boyfriend and I were together for the duration of three and half years.. Wow.. 

We had a lot of ups and downs but nothing can come close to the love I had for him.. 

Very early into the relationship he admired to kissing another girl.. This broke my heart.. 

After 3months of trying to move on something told me I couldn't and I decided to give him another chance. We were stronger than ever! We helped each other though the bad times and we helped each other achieve great things. 

Early last year we decided it was best for us to just be friends for the moment and focus on the important stuff.. 

We're still as close as ever and see/speak nearly everyday.. He's my best friend and my sole mate. 

With us not being a couple we decided we would still try and find love and date other people.. 

I've not being looking to find anyone else, I'm a very strong independent person and i don't feel the need for anyone in my life. 

Until recently I've been happy being single and I love it, I've had a few flings here and there and lots of flirting with guys, but nothing serious as of yet..

A few weeks ago (two weeks ago), I admiring a very good looking guy and thinking "he's way out of my league". However it turns out fate was on my side and this guy, showed interest in my too! Result.. Or not.. 

Things were going good until four days into knowing this guys.. We kissed.. Some may think yeah that great, other will be like what! After the kiss, things started to move very fast and he even told me he loved me.. After four days of knowing him.. *confused face* 

After a few carful discussions with the girls, I've come to the conclusion I'm scared.. Scared of being in a relationship with someone.. 

I don't know, how or why or even what, but alls I've realised is that, I'm good being "close friends" with someone but as soon as they start talking about relationships, I run, run for the hills and I don't look back.. I don't know why this is.. 

I hope that this is something I can get over and move on from, because right now even the thought of relationships sends my brain into overdrive, thinking all kinds of things.. From weird scenarios to crazy situations.. 

It's an odd one to share with you guys and I don't know what kind of reaction I'm going to get but I'd like some advice if anyone has experienced this or is experiencing this, please let me know.. 

I'm open to answering questions from guys! 

Hope your all good! 

See you again soon!❤️❤️❤️

A message for you all..

Good afternoon,

 

So here's a post which your can probably relate to, at some point. Maybe in the passed, or maybe now.

 

Human beings are wonderful yet strange people, through out your life and maybe in your already passed you will have met many different people. Some good, some bad. We can't help meeting new people and can't help what happens with these new people.

 

Sometimes, the people who you were once close with meet new people and no longer need you.. I've spent many times chasing after people who I once thought were my friends.

 

Growing up I've released it's ok to be different it's ok to be alone.

 

 

Don't spend your days worrying over what could of been, look of what can be and will be.

 

People will talk and judge you whenever and wherever you are. We're only human.

You don't need to put yourself out to impress people, if they wanna talk, let them.

 

You don't have to answer to anyone, you make your own choice's and your perfect. Don't spend your time worrying over your so called friends, spend time making things better for yourself. Make new friends, go new place, spend extra time doing what you love.

 

Sometimes it may feel as if everyone is against you. More fool them because when you get new friends and become successful, they going to wish they had made better choices.

 

When I feel like everyone is against me, I take to my blog to share, my thoughts and chill out.

 

I want you guys to take a message from this post.

 

Although sometimes might be harder than others, not everyday can be a good day and sometimes you feel like you have no one to turn to, when everyone is against you. Don't worry, there's people out there that are worth your time and effort. When the good days come treasure them, make the most of what you have. Don't blame yourself for living your life and being successful.

 

You are not alone!

 

You are perfect!

 

Keep your head high and don't let anyone get you down.

 

Love Toni x

 



Meet poppy!

Hey guys, 

So here's another one of my doggy related posts.. 

Today Poppy has come over for a sleepover just for one night to get her used to my house..

Poppy the little puppy is not yet one.. So she's still very little.. *aw* 

She's very loving and I just couldn't wait to introduce her to you all.. 

Poppy will be coming over for two weeks in November, so I will keep you updated with photos! 

But for now enjoy the rest of your evening! 

Love you all❤️❤️❤️

Poppy helping with this post...

College // Week One

Hey guys,

So it's been a week now since most people including me went my back to college, school or uni.. *yawn*

So one week on to my new course and thought I'd share with you how it's going. 

So level three I always knew it would be hard and I was very opportunistic and nervous about going onto a new course. 

One week in a it's safe to say I'm a little overwhelmed and confused about what's going on. 

We are learning five units all at once and it's a lot to take in. All five units need to be completed by January. 

This is all new to me because I'm used to completing the units one at a time the. Moving on the the next one. 

It's a lot of information to take in to at once and there's a lot of paperwork. 

I'm remaining optimistic and organised and trying to keep on top off my work. 

I'm hoping things will be come more clear as time goes on. 

If anyone has had experience dealing with learning multiple units at once please feel free to share your advise.. I love hearing for you. 

Hope you all had a good first the week back! 

See you again soon! 

Toni x 

Feeling happy // My little group of friends..

The Hey you guys,

 

So as you know I've been a little down about losing people who are close to me.

 

However things have started too look up and as you may know I've met some brilliant people whilst at Alton Towers.

 

Three of them being Becky, Hayley and Charlotte..

 

 

Six months ago I didn't no any one of these ladies, but I'm so glad I got the chance to become there annoying little friend!

Knowing them has made more bearable and enjoy able without them I'm sure I would of left by now.

Not only that we've got some great memories of thing's we've done outside of work together, which has been great and I can't wait to great more memoires!

These ladies have had a great impact on my life and it's made me feel a lot better within myself knowing that there is people to talk to no matter how many..

You do not want to read our group chat!

I'm sure I drive them as crazy as they drive me but it's great to have such brill friends and I just wanted to finally share a happy story with my online friends!

So to all the memories we've got and all the memories to come!
I love you ladies.

<3 <3 <3

Back to college // My tips..

Good afternoon,

 

As you guys may know I've recently start back to college on a Level Three Travel and Tourism course. Now back as a full time student, I've got to juggle studying, working and learning how drive..

 

In this post I'm going share with you my tips on organising yourself.. How too keep everything in order and make life just that little bit easier..

 

As you guys know I love photos.. So here's one I took earlier for this post..

 

Photo taken earlier for this post..

A few ways I'm aiming too keep everything in order is by seducing everything knowing what I'm doing on what days..

 

A great way to do this is too keep everything in a diary. Or on a calendar.

College is my main priority therefore I've organised everything around that..

• Monday's and Tuesday's are college day's. During these too days I will be attending my chosen study classes in college.
• Wednesday's I will be continuing with my driving lessons, after my lesson I have free time to study or meet up with friends.
• Thursday's and Friday's will be work day's, due to getting in late I won't be studying on these day's unless absolutely necessary.
• Saturday's will be a whole day spent keeping up with college work, assignments and homework.
• Sunday's will be a mixture of college work and family time. And of course an annual blogging session.. Because well why not!

Keeping yourself organised is key to making sure you can get things done.

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Folders are you best friend!

Any assignments or work you complete and hand in, may a copy for yourself. Create your own portfolio of your work. You never know when you might need to look back at it.

 

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Set your standards high!

Work to the best of your ability, spend extra time making your work look professional. Use different fonts, add relevant images. Make your work the best!

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 Don't leave things to last minute!

I know from experience its hard to get motivated and you tell yourself I'll do it tomorrow.  Tomorrow never comes. As soon as you get the chance even if its 10 minutes a day, do as much as you can. Leaving to last minute means you will be stressed and you wont have time to read over it and change things.

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Proof read!

I'm so very bad at spelling as I'm sure you may have seen in my previous posts.. Oops.. Reading over your work, will how you see if there's any mistakes. I always try and get on else to read it over as well to make double sure it's ok.

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Stationary!

I'm highlighter crazy and love highlighting everything different colours. Having great stationary helps to keep work tidy and looks professional.

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Keeping your self organised and find a way that suits you is key to succeeding at college.

 

If anyone has any questions or needs any advise on college or organisation, just pop me a message! I love hearing from you guys!

 

How you enjoyed this post!

See you again soon <3

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making time to blog // How it's helping.

Hello again friends,

 

So its been over three months since I started Life As A Butterfly.. And well time really does fly when your having fun..

 

In this post I thought I'd share with you how having my blog has helped me with everyday life and how making time to blog is going..

 

Lets start with a nice photo from today..

Blogging Life..

 As you guys know I started my blog as a hobby to keep my busy in my spare time.
I use my blog to share story's, updates, reviews and well anything which is going on around me.

My blog is chance to escape day to day life, by taking ten minutes out of my day to write about things I need/want to share with you..

In my first too post I made a promise to myself and the online world to post at least once a week.
After reviewing this I realised that this hasn't happened and therefore I've just decided to post when ever and where ever.. (My 'Having low self esteem' post was wrote whilst on the bus home).

I started my blog with the inspiration of writing about 'cabin crew' related post, but I guess you guys know as well as I do, my blog pretty much full of anything..

Inspiration for my post are totally random and are taken from that moment I start to type..
Having the 'blogger' app on my phone is amazing, as it allows my the opportunity to post from where I am.

Since starting my blog I've had a mixture of good and bad days and being able to share these with you has really helped me feel better in myself..

Although I don't know how many people do really my posts or follow my blog, it helps to know that I've shared it and people can read it at there leisure.

After writing post whether good or bad, it makes me feel as if a wait has been lifted of my shoulders and I can move on from whatever has happened that day. It's helping make me feel more relaxed and I don't go to bed thinking about what has happened that day because I've share it with you guys.

Blogging has helped my keep a clear mind and is a very big part of my life now. I'm so glad I took the steps to start Life As A Butterfly. Although it's not worldwide and popular knowing at least one person reads my posts make me very happy and proud.

I'm not yet read to share my blog link on my personal accounts such as Facebook, however I am remaining optimistic and hopefully one day i will be ready to take that huge step to let family and friends read my posts.

But for now I'm happy with unknown public reading my crazy posts!

If anyone is undecided about starting a blog, please feel free to get in touch and I will help as much as I can.

An inspirational quote. My all time favourite!

I'd like to thank all of you guys for the support in the start and up keeping of Life As A Butterfly and I hope you keep reading my posts.

My aim for the next couple of months is too keep blogging as much as I can and make as many new friends as I can.. So please don't be shy, if your one of the amazing people who read my posts... I'd love to hear from you and know what you think!

Blogging has truly helped me become a less stress and calm person and I hope if you are about to start a new blog it helps you just as much as it has helped me.

So thanks again online friends!
Here's to the 30 previous posts and the many more to come!

Lots and Lots of Love!!

A nice flowers photographed by me.

 

Alton Towers // My first job

Hey guys, 

So as it's been 7 months now that I've been living the Merlin way, I though I'd share with you my up and downs and experience of getting my first job. 

Since leaving school last June, I spent many hours looking and applying for jobs online and in stores.

I was undecided what I wanted to do. I guess I wasn't really bothered what I was doing, aslong as out of the house for a few days.. 

Between June and January I'd had applied for over 50 jobs and had one unsuccessful interview at the body shop. 

More and more time went passed and i would either be ignored or rejected. 

This was hard to for me as I felt I was getting no where fast. 

One day I stumbling across the careers page for Alton Towers somewhere I'd loved to work but I never looked into it.

After many discussion with my mum (who didn't like the idea at all)... and long days thinking about the pros and cons.. 

On 2nd of February this year i made the big decision to send off my application..

3 days later I had a reply asking for me to go in for an interview.. I was so excited! 

On Thursday 19th February, I went for three hour long interview.. (My mum was very nervous about me going). 

It was a three stage interview. A group session and small 5 person planning and presenting activity and a one to one interview.. 

3 days later I received a phone call informing me the interview had gone well and they'd like to offer me the job as a ride host! 

A week later I was asked to go in for my induction and one month later on the 21st of March I started my journey. 

I completed 16 hours training for Oblivion and 16 Hours for Hex and was passed off within my first month. I was aloud to run free. 

It's been a long hard 7 months with good days and bad days but I wouldn't change anything! 

It's best decision I ever made to apply and I've made some amazing memories and friends and it's something that will always be with me for life. 

I'm definitely thinking about returning next year. 

Anybody who is looking for a job definitely look into Alton towers because it's a brilliant starting point for school leavers and it's great pay! 

 Hope you guys have/had more luck than I did when apply! 

Good Luck! 

Love T x 

Sad day // Nancy's birthday

Hey guys. 

So as you know I look after a number of dogs. 

One dog inoutticualer Nancy who you have not yet met is very special to me. All the dogs are special and I love them all the millions. 

Nancy is a white bichon frise whom I used to have most regularly she would come nearly every three months. 

Last year on one of her stays she was a little poorly and I stayed up with her all night to look after her.. 

After this night she got taken to vets where they said it was treatable but she would need to stay in over night. 

The next day they told us that she had several cancers lumps and would need to be put asleep as there was no other option.

Yesterday Nancy would of been five years old. 

Not a day goes by when I don't think about her and the mischief she gets up to. 

Losing a loved one/pet is hard to deal with and some days will be harder than others but you have to be strong. 

You don't need to forget, just remember happy times! 

Be strong and don't be afraid to talk about things! 

Talking about things may make it easier but don't feel you have too, people deal with loss in different ways! 

Stay strong! 

Lots of love! 

❤️❤️❤️❤️

The wait is over! // Lego is here!

Good Morning! 

So a few days a go, I told you guys I was waiting for some Lego to be delivered! 

Yesterday morning after endless days of try to track my parcel and it not been track able.. 

I received a giant envelope through the door! 

It was like Christmas... 

My gold brick key ring.

Gold Lego mini figure key ring. 

I'm so excited to share these with you guys! 

Hope you have a brillant weekend! 

Love T x 

Starting my scrapbook // Craft haul

Helloo. 

So I've recently been building up a collection of items to start my scrapbook and now my finally items are here, in read to share with you.. 

My scrapbook - Hard back down paged book - £3 HobbyCraft. 

Paper cut outs - Plan white lace effect - £1 The Works. 

Jute shapes - Brown and white, mixed flowers and butterflies - £1 PoundLand.

16 page paper selection- Paper flowers - £2.85 Ebay. 

Ribbon - Pink and yellow - £1 The Works. 

Ribbon number two - pink and green - £1 The Works. 

That is my collection for now, I will keep you updated on how it's coming on.. 

Please share your scrapbook ideas! 

Love you guys!